When we lose someone suddenly it feels so completely illogical and unnecessary. I struggle aligning a good God with such pain. As I watch the aftermath of a life too soon departed, even knowing the hope of eternity, in my human heart I ache for the loss. I watch the heart-breaking pain and grieving asking God why so soon? Why now? Why not one more hug? One more chance to see children and grandchildren? One more I love you?
It’s just not fair and she (or he) didn’t deserve this.
I know technically, none of us deserve to live long lives, and God doesn’t owe us anything. Yet the reality remains, even when God is so fair and so just, His plans rarely make a lot of sense to us. A young man dying before he graduates high school doesn’t make any sense. A friend watching her husband suffer and die from cancer makes no sense. A mother watching her child suffer and pass before her time does not make sense. A kind tender selfless soul leaving this earth suddenly at only 57 makes no sense. Not to me.
I find myself saying, “it’s just too soon”. And humanly, it is too soon. We are sad and grieve. However, doesn’t that make it sound like the whole world is just really random and out of control? Wouldn’t that be totally meaningless? There is good news in which, if I can find the strength, I can find comfort. The good news for all of us grieving – even when we are sad and deeply wish we hadn’t lost someone and beg for it to all be a bad dream – it is never random or meaningless. The timing of our Lord and Savior is always right and He is always just in when He decides to take us home.
Ecclesiastes 3:11 says “He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” For those of us who know God and have faith in His complete sovereignty over all things, including the timing of our lives for that matter, we are able to claim this scripture with confidence “there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him” [Ecclesiastes 8:6] since “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” [Ecclesiastes 3:1]. We must depend on God’s timing to be perfect, even when we here on earth are not. Even when we don’t understand this side of eternity. Even when our hearts of so full of pain.
The only way to align this to our Good Good Father is to fully understand the world we live in is not the world He designed for us. A world where accidents happen and cancer happens and sickness happens and people die young, just isn’t the world God designed. We live in a fallen world. We are left here to try to understand why the things that happen, happen. But as we struggle, we hope in eternity spent with Christ. His shed blood is our promise when we believe in and rest on Jesus.
I know in heaven it will all make more sense and I know I will see Teresa there.
In His Grip, Ashlee
Pray with Me: Dear Heavenly Father God, our hearts are broken over such loss. And we can’t make sense of the pain we feel here and now. We do believe in you and we do rest our hope in your complete sovereignty. We ask you bring peace and comfort during this time to all those who have lost loved ones and we ask you bring a blessed assurance to our own lives that we too will celebrate in heaven with all the saints who have gone before and spend our eternity in perfection. For any that do not know you, God, I pray they would come to meet you personally and find perfected freedom in the Cross. In Jesus precious name, Amen.
In loving Memory of Teresa Elaine Vickers. 7/24/1959 – 10/10/2016
Ashlee Gillis Vickers, CPC 
This is so beautiful, still hard to make sense of it all. I will always miss her and to hear her voice. I met Teresa at Stans Aunt Peggys house in Rentz. She came in and Stan introduced us. I got up and hugged her and told her it was great to finally meet her. I immediately had a great respect for her because she and Stan had an everlasting bond their children. That bond would always be there and then they went on the share the birth of their grandchildren. I remember once that I was gushing over sweet Ethan and I said to her listen to me gushing over him and she told me they are your grandchildren also. I will and always be forever grateful. I knew then we would have a great relationship. People tend to assume that the new wife and the ex wife would not get along. This was never the case, Its about love and acceptance of one another.
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