Refuge

07022dfa95ebf9516c0d1e832eb9d6eeI love this photo of the baby bird nuzzled in close to the mama bird.  The visual imagery of how God defends and shelters us settles my weary heart when most nothing else will. I can so see myself poking my little nose out of God’s covering and then quickly tucking myself back into safety telling God I’m not ready yet. Can’t face the day, can’t face the problem, can’t face them, can’t face myself, I just can’t…. cover me back up God.

Psalm 91 says, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day.” [verse 4-5]

WOW – terrors of the night. Little secret about me: I have terrible dreams. Nearly every night I dream and I mean I dream vividly. I remember all of my dreams and they are in full color with total detail like street names and full narrative scripts. At times the dreams are just silly, however the worst dreams will leave me yelling out in my sleep and waking in tears. These dreams are so real to me that the emotions linger on me for days and I find myself unable to shake the terror of the night. (I am sure some therapist would have a field day with that, but I’m just going to leave it right there.)

And arrows that fly by day…. Don’t we all have those? Waking up saying “Today is going to be better” and then of course life happens and we have to deal with adulting.  The fiery arrows just shower with no real sign of relief.  And yes, there is perspective and we have to look for things to be thankful and count our blessings – life truly is all about perspective. I truly deeply believe this in the core of my being. Even still, these arrows (in spite of our blessings) require attention and the “dealing with” part isn’t always what I would call a blessing.  (Can I get an Amen?)

Yet, in my weariness, inside the terrors of the night and the arrows that fly by day, I will cling to the promise of where my refuge lies.  I know who is my shield and rampart (defensive wall). And in the night terrors and arrows of the day – I will not fear. Well….I will try really hard not to fear or doubt or question my own ability to “just deal”. IMG_4055
I will write His promise on my hand and look at it a million times until the fear leaves. Until my strength in Him feels as real to me as it has always been to Him. In His confidence and strength, I will poke my head out of His wing and allow Him to blow wind under my wings in order that I may fly. As is His full intention for us all.

 

In His grip,  Ashlee.

Pray with me:  Dear Heavenly Father God, you know our hearts and you are not surprised by our weariness and fears and insecurities. You know the days we need to rest tucked close under your wing for fear of facing the day.  You welcome our times with you like this while you build back strength. Infuse us with your word giving us courage to face the day and may we never lose sight of your desires for our lives. Remind us there is no fear in your calling and we never walk the road alone.  Keep us strong in the mission and wise with your guidance.  In Jesus name, Amen.

 

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